Dating someone who is having a baby with someone else
I trudged up the rest of that mountain, taking in this daunting new piece of information. But I really liked him. I couldn't just let him go after one date. So I decided to confront my fears and simply date him and see how things progressed. Why not just enjoy it while it lasts? Cut to now, five years later. We are married, and I can say that those first several months of being together and getting to know his children was a tough, but truly valuable learning experience. My greatest fear that my stepdaughters would hate me never came to pass. In fact, they both liked me right away.
They made loving toasts to me and my husband at our wedding. In so many respects, I feel lucky, blessed, though it hasn't always been easy. Here's what I've learned about dating a man with kids: No relationship comes without risks or baggage for that matter. I would have missed out on a life-changing relationship if I made his single dad status a deal-breaker before I got to know him. And the most surprising part for me?
Being in a relationship with a man who has taken on raising kids makes my life that much richer and rewarding, mostly in unexpected ways. My husband and I were a little impatient to introduce me to his family, so I met his kids after only a couple of months of dating. Though things worked out, it was overwhelming to me at first, especially because I wasn't certain that our relationship would last.
We were still just getting to know each other. In retrospect, I think the smarter thing to do would be to wait until we were in a committed relationship for the sake of the children.
“My New Boyfriend is Having a Baby with Someone Else”
When you watch your boyfriend interacting with his kids, you see what kind of man he is, what he's capable of. You see what he has to give because he doesn't hide his feelings. To me, that's truly sexy.
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You're not Mary Poppins, and his kids may not like you at first. We're all human beings with insecurities, wants and needs. They're probably dealing with some crazy, overwrought mall temper tantrum as you text.
What You Should Know About Dating a Man With Children
And on that note, remember: They don't need another child to rear , so behave like an adult. That means accepting that your S. O's ex is going to be in the picture. They share kids, after all. If you can't deal with that, it's simply not going to work out.
14 Things You Need To Know About Dating Someone With Kids | HuffPost Life
Thinking about taking a spur-of-the-moment weekend trip? Sorry, but single parents aren't the fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants type. They need some notice. Also, once you do make plans with them, don't back out. They went through hell trying to track down a babysitter.
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Understand that your S. There will be pictures you will see, there will be shared friends between them, there will be a lingering reminder every day that you look at the baby the two of them made together-that person will never be a thing of the past. Get used to it and keep your jealousy intact. Accept it and be confident in YOUR relationship.
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This seems to be something I have observed with other relationships similar to mine. Your attitude will determine everything.
Watch what you say to other people, do not judge or critique their parenting skills, be as polite and kindhearted as possible. It makes it easier on the child, easier on the ex, and will generally create a peaceful life you want to be living. Consider yourself all a part of one big team working to make that little baby have the best life possible—you all pull your weight and check your resentment at the door. My heart warms up when I see him tickle and play with her, when I see this big burly tough guy braiding hair or building her a Barbie 4 wheeler.
Most relationships that I had been in before, it was madness to talk about buying houses, getting married, planning for a financial future together, such serious things so soon. But this man of mine had already figured out how he wanted his life to go. He lost the self-centered way of thinking that my prior loves had possessed; he was living for his little girl and now living for me. Having his daughter changed him; it made him stable, it made him more responsible, and it made him aware of the future a lot more than he did before having her.
The very first time I met his daughter, I was brimming with anxiety. That was not his way of thinking however, he wanted to see how she was with me and have her grinning vote of approval before investing any more.
And let me tell you, one look at that smile and I was gone.